24 Sep 2005 19:38:41
chuck
Killer whale washes up inland:)

Hurricane Rita has produced yet another phenomena it appears. Late this
afternoon, authorities recovered what was thought to be a killer Whale,
some thirty miles inland from the Gulf of Mexico. The Whale was wearing
a 1911 .45 automatic pistol, griping a laptop computer in it's
functioning hand, and making noises that sounded like human speech. It
was thought to be mumbling "fukking sheep, skured USPA blood suckers, I
can make it to the DZ." Experts are now evaluating recordings to
determine if these strange sounds are human like. The whale is being
bussed to Dallas, in a specially equipped oxygenated bus, where it will
be kept in a Marine holding tank for further evaluation:)



25 Sep 2005 17:26:08
the unknown flailer
Re: Killer whale washes up inland:)


chuck wrote:
> Hurricane Rita has produced yet another phenomena it appears. Late this
> afternoon, authorities recovered what was thought to be a killer Whale,
> some thirty miles inland from the Gulf of Mexico. The Whale was wearing
> a 1911 .45 automatic pistol, griping a laptop computer in it's
> functioning hand, and making noises that sounded like human speech. It
> was thought to be mumbling "fukking sheep, skured USPA blood suckers, I
> can make it to the DZ." :)

fukking A Right, cuddn't have said it better myself, Bravo Zulu Jarhead

;-*



26 Sep 2005 19:07:12
peanut4040
Re: Killer whale washes up inland:)

Now THAT was funny,,,,

High five chuck.

The Whale was wearing
a 1911 .45 automatic pistol, griping a laptop computer in it's
functioning hand, and making noises that sounded like human speech.



27 Sep 2005 20:01:18
bigjim
Re: Killer whale washes up inland:)


Whale update..

After 48 hours of observation it was determined that this creature is, in
fact, not a whale not all but a surviving although nearly extinct, species
of dinosaur.
Turns out that this dinosaur is capable of speech, sort of, and can also
manipulate a laptop keyboard , sort of. After a long series of
communications by email, the staff vetinary psychiatrist was able to
separate what the creature labeled "sea stories" from actual fact and
determined that all the dino/whale really wanted was to be returned to the
gay bar in Montrose, Houston where it is employed as a bathroom attendant.

Amazing, remarked the psychiatrist. It actually had me convinced for
awhile that it was a former Navy clandestine operative , retired truck
driver and skydiver that lived in the woods along the Texas, La. border.
The beast can talk some shit over that laptop, he said.
.




27 Sep 2005 20:15:12
peanut4040
Re: Killer whale washes up inland:)

Whale update..


After 48 hours of observation


Doctor, can we have some kinda description of reproductive organs?
Are they bigger dan a 4-nut peanut?



27 Sep 2005 22:47:24
Jerry K.
Re: Killer whale washes up inland:)

On 27 Sep 2005 20:15:12 -0700, "peanut4040" <peanut4040@aol.com >
wrote:

>Whale update..
>
>
>After 48 hours of observation
>
>
>Doctor, can we have some kinda description of reproductive organs?
>Are they bigger dan a 4-nut peanut?

Only his long, lost drill instructor knows for sure.

...bsrp
...jlk


27 Sep 2005 22:24:16
chuck
Re: Killer whale washes up inland:)

> 5. peanut4040 Sep 27, 11:15 pm show options

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From: "peanut4040" <peanut4...@aol.com > - Find messages by this author

Date: 27 Sep 2005 20:15:12 -0700
Local: Tues, Sep 27 2005 11:15 pm
Subject: Re: Killer whale washes up inland:)
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Whale update..


After 48 hours of observation


Doctor, can we have some kinda description of reproductive organs?
Are they bigger dan a 4-nut peanut?


Reply

The whale stated that: "My winkie is bigger than yours, even when it's
folded in half, Only problem is, it's always folded in half," so the
number of nuts inside of the shell, equating to the angle of the
dangle, as in skydiving, is only relative if you frequent a certain
Montrose Bar/Aquarium where many a heated discussion arises regarding
Naval Tradition and specific Rights of Passage:)



27 Sep 2005 23:27:06
peanut4040
Re: Killer whale washes up inland:)

Whale update..


After 48 hours of observation

Only his long, lost drill instructor knows for sure.

well, what about his hair dresser,, he is a self admitted NAVY person.



27 Sep 2005 23:32:05
peanut4040
Re: Killer whale washes up inland:)

The whale stated that: "My winkie is bigger than yours, even when it's
folded in half, Only problem is, it's always folded in half," so the
number of nuts inside of the shell, equating to the angle of the
dangle, as in skydiving, is only relative if you frequent a certain
Montrose Bar/Aquarium where many a heated discussion arises regarding
Naval Tradition and specific Rights of Passage:)

AND datsss FUNNYYY,, blowing vaginia juice across screen ,,

opps,, sorry
gawd dang it lucky quit that.



28 Sep 2005 16:47:11
chuck
Re: Killer whale washes up inland:)

that this creature is, in
fact, not a whale not all but a surviving although nearly extinct,
species
of dinosaur. <<<<<<<

What kind of Dinosaur would that be Jim? A Pinocchiosoreass????:)



28 Sep 2005 17:43:44
chuck
Re: Killer whale washes up inland:)

An Irishman sailor who has been stranded on a desert island for over 10
years one day sees a speck on the horizon. He thinks to himself, "It's
certainly not a ship." Then as the speck gets closer and closer, he
begins to rule out the possibilities of a small boat and even a raft or
even a large laptop computer.

Suddenly there emerges from the surf a wet-suited black-clad figure.
Putting aside the scuba gear and the top of the wet suit, there is this
drop-dead gorgeous blonde! The blonde strides up to the stunned sailor
and says to him, "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a
cigarette?" "Ten years," replies the amazed Irishman. With that, she
reaches over and unzips a waterproofed pocket on the left sleeve of her
wetsuit, and she pulls out a fresh pack of cigarettes. He takes one,
lights it, and takes a long drag. Faith and begorrah," says the man,
"that is so good I'd almost forgotten how great a smoke can be!"

And how long has it been since you've had a drop of good Irish
whiskey?" asks the blonde. Trembling, the castaway replies, "Ten
years." Hearing that, the blonde reaches over to her right sleeve,
unzips a pocket, and removes a flask which she hands to him. He opens
it and takes a long drink. "Heaven be praised!" the Irishman says.
"'Tis the nectar of the gods!"

At this point the gorgeous blonde starts to slowly unzip the long
front of her wetsuit right down the middle. She looks at the trembling
sailor and asks, And how long has it been since you played around?"
With tears in his eyes, the Irish sailor falls to his knees and sobs,
"Sweet Jesus!

Don't tell me that you've got golf clubs in there too!"



28 Sep 2005 20:48:26
bigjim
Re: Killer whale washes up inland:)



> What kind of Dinosaur would that be Jim? A Pinocchiosoreass????:)

Yes, the species is characterized by having an extremely big head which
makes it very clumsy, but there is no brain in the head. Its very small
brain is contained in its ass. It reproduces asexually because all members
of this species are gay males.




28 Sep 2005 18:05:24
chuck
Re: Killer whale washes up inland:)

12. bigjim Sep 28, 8:48 pm show options

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From: "bigjim" <big...@the-beach.net > - Find messages by this author
Date: Wed, 28 Sep 2005 20:48:26 -0400
Local: Wed, Sep 28 2005 8:48 pm
Subject: Re: Killer whale washes up inland:)
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> What kind of Dinosaur would that be Jim? A Pinocchiosoreass????:)


Yes, the species is characterized by having an extremely big head
which
makes it very clumsy, but there is no brain in the head. Its very
small
brain is contained in its ass. It reproduces asexually because all
members
of this species are gay males.

Falling down laughing...................bang.........too funny!